My GYN's MA called today. She made it sound like they'd end up doing an emergency hysterectomy, but in reality, the news I got was less severe and causes more questions than gives answers. Grumble.
The answer: Complexhyperplasia with atypia. Whether or not it's cancer is unknown.
The questions:
1. Is it cancer?
2. If it is cancer, is it confined to the uterus?
3. Where do we go from here?
4. Will we ever even get the chance to have bio children?
5. Will I need a hysterectomy?
6. If it is cancer, what do we do?
7. If it isn't confined to the uterus... WTF?
I have more questions that I just can't think of right now, but I think that's enough. Considering I only got one answer and a lot more "we'll have to see"s.
Despite the bull shit, I was able to re-evaluate my dining decisions for dinner. At first I wanted chinese food. Then maybe just McDeath. My capability to decide that maybe hopping over to pick-n-save and picking up some stuff to "spice up" some tacos for dindin was amazing in my eyes. The trip to pick n save also spawned what looks to be an amazingly delicious salad for lunch tomorrow, not to mention left overs for N's lunch.
Thursday is the appointment with the GYN ONC. Good luck. To me.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Grumble?
Didn't finish Bastian's cage, but I did everything else. This means I failed that goal for tonight. This doesn't discourage me because it's a freaking cleaning goal. Screw it. I know I'll end up getting at it tomorrow, so good times, right?
I did, however, meet my first exercise goal. While it was not cardio or even anything to get my heart rate up, I did consciously exercise for 10 minutes. I also ended up having two hot dogs instead of pizza. I did want to eat something with it instead of just hot dogs, but my options are currently rediculously limited. I could have chosen from chips, a cucumber, pineapple, apple, orange, or a potato. Yeah. I just had the hot dogs...
Tomorrow's goals:
AM:
1. Have no more than two servings of fruit for breakfast.
2. Park farther away from the door so I walk farther to work.
Noon:
1. Do not become frustrated at work with anyone or anything. (Non-PCOS related)
2. Do at least one physical activity with my clients.
PM:
1. Consciously, and effectively (get heart rate up above normal) for at least 5 minutes.
2. Start with literally one serving of whatever is for dinner.
I did, however, meet my first exercise goal. While it was not cardio or even anything to get my heart rate up, I did consciously exercise for 10 minutes. I also ended up having two hot dogs instead of pizza. I did want to eat something with it instead of just hot dogs, but my options are currently rediculously limited. I could have chosen from chips, a cucumber, pineapple, apple, orange, or a potato. Yeah. I just had the hot dogs...
Tomorrow's goals:
AM:
1. Have no more than two servings of fruit for breakfast.
2. Park farther away from the door so I walk farther to work.
Noon:
1. Do not become frustrated at work with anyone or anything. (Non-PCOS related)
2. Do at least one physical activity with my clients.
PM:
1. Consciously, and effectively (get heart rate up above normal) for at least 5 minutes.
2. Start with literally one serving of whatever is for dinner.
"And all we get iiiis... dead disco, dead funk, dead roock n roooll..."
Yesterday's goals were accomplished, for the most part. Instead of ending up preparing something for dindin, DH got pizza, *but* I ate half as much as I usually do and got the all filled up feeling about 10 minutes after having eaten. Breakfast this morning was a quick speedway sammich - yes, I did - and lunch was ramen soup stuff with an apple and yogurt. NOM. Pizza again tonight because we have the left overs. Unless I decide to make something else... which, I'm already getting tired from being outside a little while, getting the small and fluffies stuff done, and the snake cage. Still have the one snake cage to do, but not so bad.
Getting excited about getting the scale and Y membership. I am ready to start this stuff. Yay. Tomorrow's lunch is likely two apples and something else, maybe pineapple because I need to cut that thing up. Otherwise it's hot dogs, and I'm not too much a fan. Blarg.
My goal for tonight:
Get the cleaning done.
Do at least 10 minutes of exercise while the ferts run around.
New goal for the week:
Find an endocrinologist or reproductive endocrinologist. Either way. Blarg.
Side note/s: Work went unexpectedly well today. Had a lot of pain this morning, but tylenol curbed it quickly.
Getting excited about getting the scale and Y membership. I am ready to start this stuff. Yay. Tomorrow's lunch is likely two apples and something else, maybe pineapple because I need to cut that thing up. Otherwise it's hot dogs, and I'm not too much a fan. Blarg.
My goal for tonight:
Get the cleaning done.
Do at least 10 minutes of exercise while the ferts run around.
New goal for the week:
Find an endocrinologist or reproductive endocrinologist. Either way. Blarg.
Side note/s: Work went unexpectedly well today. Had a lot of pain this morning, but tylenol curbed it quickly.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
The tiniest stepping stones will be the ones to get you where you need to be.
I have been talking with DH about my need for results when setting goals. It's not enough for me sometimes to know that I lost 5 lbs when my ultimate goal is 50. Here's me trying to set small, small, small goals, each day.
This morning's goal: Eat only half of what I prepare for myself.
This afternoon's goals: Have fruit salad and yogurt for lunch. Spend at least one hour outside (depending on the level of any pain).
Tonight's goal: Eat only half of what I prepare for myself. If I'm still hungry, grab a banana or apple.
These goals are all diet-based because I have a hard time not over-eating because my body literally sometimes won't tell me when I'm full until I've already over-eaten. I have a feeling this has to do with the IR.
I'm starting to see every tiny thing as a victory, even my having a bm this morning!! Hahaha. Iron... yeah, it'll stop you up for a while! I guess it can be seen as a good thing, but I swear I didn't think I'd already feel like this. Like I can actually accomplish something. It's hard for me to see things like this, but recognizing your own faults is literally the first step to getting anywhere.
July 1st MUSTS:
Plan Taylor's birthday party.
Buy a scale.
YMCA membership.
Buy Taylor's birthday present(s).
This morning's goal: Eat only half of what I prepare for myself.
This afternoon's goals: Have fruit salad and yogurt for lunch. Spend at least one hour outside (depending on the level of any pain).
Tonight's goal: Eat only half of what I prepare for myself. If I'm still hungry, grab a banana or apple.
These goals are all diet-based because I have a hard time not over-eating because my body literally sometimes won't tell me when I'm full until I've already over-eaten. I have a feeling this has to do with the IR.
I'm starting to see every tiny thing as a victory, even my having a bm this morning!! Hahaha. Iron... yeah, it'll stop you up for a while! I guess it can be seen as a good thing, but I swear I didn't think I'd already feel like this. Like I can actually accomplish something. It's hard for me to see things like this, but recognizing your own faults is literally the first step to getting anywhere.
July 1st MUSTS:
Plan Taylor's birthday party.
Buy a scale.
YMCA membership.
Buy Taylor's birthday present(s).
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Scared beyond breath.
DX: PCOS, manic depression, severe depression, social anxiety disorder, and general anxiety disorder.
RX: Paxil, Provera, Iron, and multivitamins
Here are the issues:
1. I am anemic.
2. I have a large 9.2cm cyst near my right ovary.
3. My uterine lining is 29mm thick.
4. That may be cancerous.
5. I need to be screened for diabetes.
6. At my heaviest weight at 350-something.
7. Fertility
Here are the solutions:
Who the hell knows just yet. I am waiting around for a biopsy taken two days ago, Thursday.
This is what's helping me cope, my:
1. Wonderful husband, Nick
2. Wonderful brother, Taylor
3. Best friend, Dresh
4. Grandparents
5. Small close-knit group of friends
6. Lastly, my fantastic doctor that actually cares
So then, what's driving me crazy?
I am having a hard time with all the noise inside my head. I am worried about so much and so little at the same time. I am worried most about the fertility when I should be most worried about what this biopsy will tell me. I have talked to N about this, and he is always comforting, always the one to say things will be okay, but I'm still scared to death of these results and what it may mean for our future, not only my health future (if you will), but our financial and family's future.
RX: Paxil, Provera, Iron, and multivitamins
Here are the issues:
1. I am anemic.
2. I have a large 9.2cm cyst near my right ovary.
3. My uterine lining is 29mm thick.
4. That may be cancerous.
5. I need to be screened for diabetes.
6. At my heaviest weight at 350-something.
7. Fertility
Here are the solutions:
Who the hell knows just yet. I am waiting around for a biopsy taken two days ago, Thursday.
This is what's helping me cope, my:
1. Wonderful husband, Nick
2. Wonderful brother, Taylor
3. Best friend, Dresh
4. Grandparents
5. Small close-knit group of friends
6. Lastly, my fantastic doctor that actually cares
So then, what's driving me crazy?
I am having a hard time with all the noise inside my head. I am worried about so much and so little at the same time. I am worried most about the fertility when I should be most worried about what this biopsy will tell me. I have talked to N about this, and he is always comforting, always the one to say things will be okay, but I'm still scared to death of these results and what it may mean for our future, not only my health future (if you will), but our financial and family's future.
Friday, June 24, 2011
What am I and who do I have? Thanks to: http://pcos.insulitelabs.com/PCOS-Symptoms.php
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) can be caused by Insulin Resistance and may take the form of numerous symptoms, which vary from woman to woman.
The following is a list of the more common symptoms. Some woman may experience two or more of these traits.
Most experts consider that a woman must have evidence of both lack of ovulation (anovulation or oligo-ovulation) manifested by irregular periods AND signs of excess male hormones (hyperandrogenism or hyperandrogenemia) to be diagnosed with PCOS. Some experts also require the presence of polycystic ovaries to diagnose PCOS. If you have some of these symptoms below, please discuss with your doctor the possibility that you might have PCOS.
It is important to rule out other diseases that can cause symptoms similar to PCOS such as Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (late onset), Cushing Syndrome, excess prolactin production (hyperprolactinemia), and low thyroid function (hypothyroidism). That's why you and your doctor may elect to do some testing to investigate your symptoms further. You will find a list of possible tests at the bottom of this page.
Weight Gain or Inability to Lose Weight. Many women with PCOS gain weight around their abdomen, taking on an apple shape rather than a pear shape. Such weight gain is linked with imbalances of glucose and insulin in the body.
Other women may not necessarily gain weight but find that, no matter how hard they try, they cannot lose any weight. Not every woman with PCOS will have problems with excess weight. In fact, up to half of women with PCOS are lean. Even lean women with PCOS may struggle with high insulin levels or insulin resistance, however.
Absent or Irregular Periods (Amenorrhea or Oligomenorrhea). Nine or few menstrual cycles per year may be a sign of PCOS. Bleeding may be heavier than normal. These conditions are caused because the ovaries are not producing hormones that keep the menstrual cycle regular. Irregular or absent menses indicate that a woman is probably not ovulating.
Infertility. The high levels of excess insulin seen with PCOS can stimulate the ovaries to produce large amounts of the male hormone (androgens), which can possibly prevent the ovaries from releasing an egg each month, thus causing infertility. Because women with PCOS don't have regular menstrual cycles, many are unable to become pregnant. With help, however, many PCOS sufferers conceive.
Excess Hair Growth (Hirsutism). This symptom causes excess hair, which can be difficult for many women. For most PCOS sufferers, hair in the mustache and beard areas becomes heavier and darker. Masculine-looking hair on the arms and leg is also possible, as well as hair on abdomen, chest or back, together with more growing in the pubic area. High levels of male hormones cause this condition.
Thinning Hair. Just as heavier hair growth is possible, so is the type of hair thinning that many men experience. This is caused in women by higher levels of androgens.
Acne. Pimples and oily skin can also bother women with PCOS. The acne is usually found around the face (especially along the jaw line), chest and back.
Ovarian Cysts. The elevation in insulin levels contributes to the formation of cysts in the ovaries in part due to the hormonal imbalances and also because the ovaries are highly sensitive to the influence of insulin. These multiple, immature ovarian cysts, after which the condition was named, are associated with irregular menstruation and trouble conceiving.
Polycystic ovaries are defined as 12 or more follicles in at least one ovary as seen by ultrasound. Follicles are small, fluid-filled sacs containing eggs. In PCOS, the follicles bunch together to form cysts. Note that not every woman with PCOS has polycystic ovaries.
Fatigue. We hear from many women with PCOS who are tired all the time! Fatigue is a common symptom that may be related to PCOS in that insulin resistance can be one cause of reduced energy levels. Furthermore, many women with PCOS also have low thyroid function (hypothyroidism), a very common endocrine condition, which itself causes fatigue.
Other Skin Problems. Skin tags - thick lumps of skin sometimes as large as raisins - can form as a result of PCOS. They are usually found in the armpits, at the bra line or neck and can easily be removed by a dermatologist. Darkening and thickening of the skin can also occur around the neck, groin, underarms or skin folds. This condition, called Acanthosis Nigricans, is a sign of Insulin Resistance, the underlying cause of PCOS. Other women with PCOS note an increase in dandruff.
Mood Swings. Many women with PCOS may find themselves more anxious or depressed by their appearance or their inability to become pregnant. Mood swings can also be caused by hormone problems. Managing your PCOS symptoms may help to relieve depression.
High cholesterol (Hyperlipidemia) and High Blood Pressure (Hypertension). Increased LDL cholesterol, the "bad" cholesterol, is known as a marker for risk of heart attack and stroke. Women with PCOS must pay special attention to their cholesterol levels and also their blood pressure, as both of these markers of heart disease are more prevalent in this community.
Sleep Apnea. Women with PCOS have a high risk for sleep apnea. This may be due to the increased BMI (Body Mass Index) in about half of women with PCOS. Another possible reason for the increased prevalence of sleep apnea in people with PCOS is the effects of testosterone on blood vessels.
Diagnosing PCOS. To diagnose PCOS, doctors use a combination of clinical symptoms (what you experience as the patient, such as excess hair growth, irregular menses, acne, skin tags, weight gain, infertility, etc.) and lab tests. The blood tests to consider are:
The following is a list of the more common symptoms. Some woman may experience two or more of these traits.
Most experts consider that a woman must have evidence of both lack of ovulation (anovulation or oligo-ovulation) manifested by irregular periods AND signs of excess male hormones (hyperandrogenism or hyperandrogenemia) to be diagnosed with PCOS. Some experts also require the presence of polycystic ovaries to diagnose PCOS. If you have some of these symptoms below, please discuss with your doctor the possibility that you might have PCOS.
It is important to rule out other diseases that can cause symptoms similar to PCOS such as Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (late onset), Cushing Syndrome, excess prolactin production (hyperprolactinemia), and low thyroid function (hypothyroidism). That's why you and your doctor may elect to do some testing to investigate your symptoms further. You will find a list of possible tests at the bottom of this page.
PCOS Symptoms:
Other women may not necessarily gain weight but find that, no matter how hard they try, they cannot lose any weight. Not every woman with PCOS will have problems with excess weight. In fact, up to half of women with PCOS are lean. Even lean women with PCOS may struggle with high insulin levels or insulin resistance, however.
Absent or Irregular Periods (Amenorrhea or Oligomenorrhea). Nine or few menstrual cycles per year may be a sign of PCOS. Bleeding may be heavier than normal. These conditions are caused because the ovaries are not producing hormones that keep the menstrual cycle regular. Irregular or absent menses indicate that a woman is probably not ovulating.
Infertility. The high levels of excess insulin seen with PCOS can stimulate the ovaries to produce large amounts of the male hormone (androgens), which can possibly prevent the ovaries from releasing an egg each month, thus causing infertility. Because women with PCOS don't have regular menstrual cycles, many are unable to become pregnant. With help, however, many PCOS sufferers conceive.
Excess Hair Growth (Hirsutism). This symptom causes excess hair, which can be difficult for many women. For most PCOS sufferers, hair in the mustache and beard areas becomes heavier and darker. Masculine-looking hair on the arms and leg is also possible, as well as hair on abdomen, chest or back, together with more growing in the pubic area. High levels of male hormones cause this condition.
Thinning Hair. Just as heavier hair growth is possible, so is the type of hair thinning that many men experience. This is caused in women by higher levels of androgens.
Acne. Pimples and oily skin can also bother women with PCOS. The acne is usually found around the face (especially along the jaw line), chest and back.
Ovarian Cysts. The elevation in insulin levels contributes to the formation of cysts in the ovaries in part due to the hormonal imbalances and also because the ovaries are highly sensitive to the influence of insulin. These multiple, immature ovarian cysts, after which the condition was named, are associated with irregular menstruation and trouble conceiving.
Polycystic ovaries are defined as 12 or more follicles in at least one ovary as seen by ultrasound. Follicles are small, fluid-filled sacs containing eggs. In PCOS, the follicles bunch together to form cysts. Note that not every woman with PCOS has polycystic ovaries.
Fatigue. We hear from many women with PCOS who are tired all the time! Fatigue is a common symptom that may be related to PCOS in that insulin resistance can be one cause of reduced energy levels. Furthermore, many women with PCOS also have low thyroid function (hypothyroidism), a very common endocrine condition, which itself causes fatigue.
Other Skin Problems. Skin tags - thick lumps of skin sometimes as large as raisins - can form as a result of PCOS. They are usually found in the armpits, at the bra line or neck and can easily be removed by a dermatologist. Darkening and thickening of the skin can also occur around the neck, groin, underarms or skin folds. This condition, called Acanthosis Nigricans, is a sign of Insulin Resistance, the underlying cause of PCOS. Other women with PCOS note an increase in dandruff.
Mood Swings. Many women with PCOS may find themselves more anxious or depressed by their appearance or their inability to become pregnant. Mood swings can also be caused by hormone problems. Managing your PCOS symptoms may help to relieve depression.
High cholesterol (Hyperlipidemia) and High Blood Pressure (Hypertension). Increased LDL cholesterol, the "bad" cholesterol, is known as a marker for risk of heart attack and stroke. Women with PCOS must pay special attention to their cholesterol levels and also their blood pressure, as both of these markers of heart disease are more prevalent in this community.
Sleep Apnea. Women with PCOS have a high risk for sleep apnea. This may be due to the increased BMI (Body Mass Index) in about half of women with PCOS. Another possible reason for the increased prevalence of sleep apnea in people with PCOS is the effects of testosterone on blood vessels.
Diagnosing PCOS. To diagnose PCOS, doctors use a combination of clinical symptoms (what you experience as the patient, such as excess hair growth, irregular menses, acne, skin tags, weight gain, infertility, etc.) and lab tests. The blood tests to consider are:
- Free testosterone - elevated in PCOS.
- DHEA -S- elevated in PCOS.
- Sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) - usually low in PCOS.
- Fasting insulin - elevated in PCOS. Results greater than 9 or 10 can indicate insulin resistance. Insulin resistance is usually the underlying cause of PCOS, as you will read elsewhere on our web site. Some doctors may also order a 2-hour post-prandial insulin test, along with a 2-hour post-prandial glucose test.
- Fasting glucose or 2-hour post-prandial glucose - elevated in PCOS. Using this information in combination with the insulin tests helps to diagnose insulin resistance. Also, women with PCOS have a higher risk of diabetes so it is important to screen for this early and often.
- LH: FSH- Some doctors may also look at the ratio between these two hormones. In PCOS, we would expect LH (Lutenizing Hormone) to be elevated in comparison to FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone).
- Ultrasound to check for the presence of ovarian cysts. Even if the ovaries do appear normal, the absence of ovarian cysts does not mean that a woman doesn't have PCOS. Not everyone with PCOS has ovarian cysts, and not everyone with ovarian cysts has PCOS.
- Some doctors will check cholesterol levels and liver function tests, as these can also be abnormal in PCOS (as well as in many other conditions).
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