Underlined.

I'm wondering what it is that God has planned for me, if anything at all. The last week has been especially hard. Thinking about how much I've always wanted a large family and now not being able to have that. Physically and financially we cannot reproduce. Everything seems so unfair. Some can procreate like bunnies and we're left as potentially wonderful parents without children. I just want to know what I've done wrong. Or who I've wronged to deserve this horrible longing, knowing there's no light at the end of this journey. Will we forever be childless? I want to go back to bed and not feel anything. Sleep there until I wake up in some dream world where I have what I want. I can't stand this feeling. Longing. Wanting. Everything is so far away. There are no answers. No easy ones. No hard ones. Just no answers. How is that possible? What the hell am I doing?